Before I visit a new place I like to spend some time perusing their website. It paints a picture, and often tells the story. I love a good story, but they are getting increasingly rare in corporate NYC. Lamalo site looks like that of a typical modern restaurant in New York, with colorful images of their food, menu, and press galore. Its always interesting to see what makes the press cut. In Lamalo’s case, it’s seemingly every possible mention, with the majority about the anticipation and announcement of its much hyped opening. Which really means “our marketing dollars went to good use y’all”. Not one review. The only person benefiting from this press barrage is Jeff Bezos.
Also missing is the story. There’s an ‘About’ section with no mention of Gadi Peleg and his accomplishments with Breads Bakery. Instead you see a generic “modern Middle Eastern gem nestled in the heart of NoMad”. Not sure what makes it modern other than higher prices and being inside a hotel. Or maybe its because there’s no sign. The concept of Mezzes served as such may be new to NYC but its been around for 1000’s of years.
Lamalo means “why not” in Hebrew, but its often used, almost like slang. As in “What if we offer a ridiculous amount of all you can eat spreads, dips, and bread for a set price, say $25 per person? Lamalo?!?”. Its essentially a glorified all you can eat buffet of tiny plates like hummus, babaganoush, button mushrooms, pickles, and more. The most memorable was Skordalia, a potato spread infused with garlic and almonds to the point that it tastes more like beans than potato. The plates surround a “smaller than I thought” laffa that comes fresh out of the oven but dries quickly, and surprisingly not particularly great. I’d take the Dizengoff/Zahav pita any day of the week. Except shabbos.
The spreads for the most part are cleverly executed, and diverse enough to keep things interesting. There’s a certain pleasant flow here. The problem is, in a way similar to my issue with Zahav, that the fun stops there. Unlike Zahav, here you do have variety of large dishes to choose from, but the two we ordered left much to be desired. A Cabbage “Shank” that was braised overnight with a sweet glaze was interesting at first, but quickly got too sweet and boring. Its a play on Borscht that doesnt work.
Shabtai-Style Fish featured various kinds of unevenly cooked fried filets is essentially a good mother-in-law fried fish. Its interesting that they call it Shabtai style considering there’s really no such thing, at least not globally that I’m aware. As for the sides, the Mejadara worked a lot better than the odd tasting Ful (Fava beans) which I normally love. But perhaps the best dish at Lamalo is the lone dessert. A perfectly semi frozen Halva Parfait that really hit the spot. Like a semifredo covered with shredded Halvah.
But there’s simply not enough here to make me want to come back. Yes, its a playful concept that can be fun for groups, couples, and heck even accountants. But tiny plates of mostly spreads and dips can only thrill so much. You spend some time fishing for your favorites before declaring the winners, but still find yourself munching on the undesirable, because someone has to. Like a polygamist, who got his favorites, but needs to take the others to the zoo sometimes. But worse of all, he cant add anymore wives.
Lamalo
11 E 31st St (Madison/5th, Nomad)
Rating: 1 Z (out of 4)
Stars range from Good to Exceptional. Simple as that
Recommended Dishes: Mezzes (included), Halva Parfait
As we get older, mental lists get less and less effective. We start to forget things, and sometimes get in trouble as a result, especially with the spouse. The saving grace is an equally forgetful spouse, but not when she has different habits and writes everything down. 

A much needed update to the “Bread and Butter” of this blog. Seven year old Hell’s Kitchen Survival Guide still outperforming all other posts year after year. The Z-List and the Turks & Caicos page complete the top three. There are many sources for Hell’s Kitchen out there today but I truly believe this is still the most comprehensive and up to date of the bunch. Most HK guides written by people who dont spend much time there and/or dont really understand the area well. But enough about me…
Added to the list:
This is not your father’s Coney Island Ave. When I lived in that part of Brooklyn in the 80-90s, Turkish places like Sahara dominated. Turkish, car washes, ice cream, and affordable divorce lawyers to be exact. Nowadays, the business hub, that doesnt quite lead to Coney Island, features even better Turkish (Taci’s Beyti), respectable Moldovan (Moldova), Uzbek royalty (Nargis), swanky Russian nightclubs like Chinar, and a plethora of Pakistani joints between Foster and H. And when I want to kick it up a notch, there’s always 
Meats in a form of kebabs and lamb chops dominate the menu. Lulya kebab (minced meat) here is thick and juicy. But what sets them apart here is they are wrapped with thin dough. Get the lamb over chicken. Guru Hingal is a thin pappardelle like noodles topped with a “ragu” of onions, and lamb cooked in its own fat. You wont find better tasting pasta in south Brooklyn.
Sometimes I cringe when I read my old posts. Ever so often it starts with the title. Why did 










December 1st, 2019 Update:
On Thanksgiving we give thanks to the things and people we take for granted. This is perhaps the most meaningful Thanksgiving, and the first one I was not particularly looking forward to (first one without dad). So I would like to take this opportunity to give thanks..