Provo Zen – Meet Your Restaurant Critic!

Hi, I’m Ziggy, your Restaurant critic!

Why I am abandoning my disguise?

I got somewhat influenced by this guy

And a bit more from this guy

Oh, and I almost forgot this guy

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Its that age-old question.  The question I’m being asked again and again whether on the message boards, Korean baths, or in my adopted second home of Providenciales.  With all my eating habits, how exactly do I stay in shape?  What is my secret?  Is it fish oil?  Well, I think its time to share this gift

The answer my dear readers is Beach Yoga.  That’s right!  There’s absolutely nothing as exhilarating and at the same time as peaceful as Beach Yoga.  People often said that Beach Yoga is like a cross between Kite Surfing and couch potatoing.  Well, I’m here to tell you that those people are idiots!  The only way for me to properly explain this phenomenon is by sharing some of my favorite moves and provide helpful tips. Difficulty levels range from beginning to advanced to satisfy the entire EWZ audience.
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The Warrior (advance).  This is always a crowd magnet for some reason.  The warrior with help from the waves will relax you and greatly enhance your balance.  Don’t be surprised if after 4 weeks you notice a difference in tricky balance situations like standing still in a supermarket line.
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The Italian Warrior (advanced) – Sometimes in order to achieve that Zen, you need to release some steam. Dig deeper into your Roman roots and just let it all out.  Imagine for a minute you have an uncle in Milan that always makes fun of your shoes and your American way if life
ZZZZ 362Outstretching (medium) – stretching is something I advise to avoid.  It’s overrated and you achieve nothing but the occasional groin injury.  And seriously you look like an idiot on the beach.  I’m just including it here to show you how you will look like an idiot.
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Angel
(moderate) – Something I accidentally invented for this column.  A rare moment that allows you to connect with the 4 basic elements of our planet. Wind, air, water, and kittens.
ZZZZ 370_cirReaching to the Sky (advanced) – Something I like to do during Jewish holidays.  This position strengthens your arms, palms, legs, hamstrings, chin, stomach, and left foot, but speeds up the road to knee replacement.  No one said this will be easy.
ZZZZ 371Lunge (moderate) – perhaps my favorite move, but something I prefer to do earlier in the morning before the middle aged, frontal balding men start doing their beach walks. The last thing I want to do on vacation is to intimidate anyone.
ZZZZ 374Pushup (moderate) – Self explanatory.  It strengthens your wrists, arms, increases your metabolism, and your ability to have children.
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I’ve fallen and I can’t get up (medium) – You and  earth as one.  All about experiencing that ocean oasis, living the moment, getting to that final zen, or swallowing ocean water. Whatever comes sooner.
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Man Standing Still (moderate) – Connect with your inner Ziggy.  You and the ocean as one.  Seriously I don’t have a clue what the f%*k that means. I just read it in a fitness magazine.
Categories: Turks and Caicos | Tags: , | 3 Comments

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3 thoughts on “Provo Zen – Meet Your Restaurant Critic!

  1. Inna

    Privet my friend, a new career in modeling?

  2. Tanya

    So that’s the secret of why you can eat so much and not put on any weight. Lol. (And The Italian Warrior is a killer!)

  3. Tricia

    George Costanza has met his match! Very impressive moves Ziggy! Too funny!! 🙂

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