Turks and Caicos – Top Seven Large Bites

As published in the current issue of WhereWhenHow, this is a follow up to the Top Seven Small Bites 

Who said that Providenciales is an expensive destination?  I did!  Approximately 14 times while eating with the kids on our last trip.  Gone are the kiddie menu days almost overnight for the Ziggy clan, much to the chagrin of my wallet.

Does this sound familiar?  One minute your 10 year old is eating the international kiddie specialty known as Penne with Butter, and next thing you know she is ordering Garganelli with conch and clams, after just discovering that she’s also into Escargot.

Or, one minute both of your kids are sharing a steak (with daddy). Fast forward 8 months later, your 60 pound youngest wants none of that sharing nonsense.  The last time she got a kiddie menu, she asked me to leave no tip and write a review on Trip Advisor about the various service issues of the establishment.

So I’m feeling the pinch.  And as a result, I already told the kids that they would need to rely on their grandparents for continued education.  I told them that while sipping through a straw of my $16 + Tip + tax drink at my resort.

Of course I’m being just a tad melodramatic.  Providenciales or “Provo” if you don’t want your iPhone to correct it to “doomsday” or something else that makes no sense (its a mysterious thing this auto-correct)  can be as expensive as you want it to be.  As I’m about to point out you can have your pick of deliciousness from white cloth to no cloth, from sommelier to.. {shrug} no sommelier.  And the good thing about traveling with kids when they are grown up is that you get to share and try a few things as a family.

But I’m not here to audition for “Mommy and Me Magazine”.  I’m here to write about 7 large bites as a follow up to the 7 small bites from the previous issue.  Can daddys even write for “Mommy and Me Magazine”?  Does such a thing even exists? Great, now this is going to bother me for the rest of the day.

At any rate, here are the top 7 large bites from our last trip

Pecan Crusted Conch at Bay Bistro – Schnitzelicious Bliss!  Lights Out!  Or until we realized we accidentally leaned against the light switch and turned off the lights at the patio.  True story!  Like a beautiful conch schnitzel, with a mild but potent orange sauce.  Its a consistent crowd pleaser for adults and kids alike.  Island historians can tell you what happened with the failed Coconut crusted conch with curry experiment.

Strong contender:  Grilled lobster (in season)

Best End of Milk Fed Lamb at Seven – Benny Hill? Downton Abbey? Its not exactly clear what motivated the British to name the lamb’s back of the neck differently than the rest of the world.  But it IS clear that it can be delicious, and that chef Josu knows what to do with it.  Three tender, perfectly cooked (medium rare) neck filets accompanied by all sorts of glorious goodies, too many to mention (i.e Blogger lingo for “I forgot”).  And its great to have the knowledgeable Alan Daffy on the floor to make sure everything is running smoothly and remind you what you are eating while under the (fine wine) influence.

Strong contender:  Duck breast

Caribbean Platter at Sailing Paradise – A more than worthy schlep just for the plate, and the serene waters and colors of Blue Hills an added bonus.  Addictive, tender, juicy, spicy, tastes much better than it looks, Jerk Chicken.  Same idea applies to the jerk pork, and if you did not get the homemade Jamaican sauce to add even more pleasant heat than ask for it.  Add the wonderful lightly fried fish, rice and peas, plantains and you got yourself a dish.  But we aren’t done yet.  The glorious goat curry, with all its bony glory requires its own space.  Maneuvering through these bones was a succulent adventure.  After the meal at the airport we were smelling our index fingers like in a gynecologist convention.  (Ahem… Brenda/Kathi, under the belt? ;))

Strong contender:  Get the platter!

Tagliolini with Seafood at Caicos Café – White smoke rising from the chimneys of Caicos Plaza signals a new menu at Caicos Café.  While black smoke rising suggests someone just burned a toast.  Savory fish, scallops, shrimp, mussels, flambéed with Pernod and a lot of love.  An Emilia Romagna classic in Providenciales.

Strong contender:  Orecchiette (Mike Tyson’s favorite pasta)

Steak au Poivre at Le Bouchon – soi le bienvenue Pierrik and family.  A gorgeous rendition of the French classic that normally no one talks about nor knows how to spell, like the 4th and 5th Kardashians.  Perfectly cooked, flavorful steak with a deliciously light peppercorn sauce that made me dip the fries, bread and fingers into it.  A month before, a similar dish in a renowned similarly named Bouchon in Las Vegas was double the cost and half the flavor.  Well Done Pierrik!

Strong contender – Burger with egg (for lunch only – ask for the egg)  (Brenda, I’m pretty sure its only available for lunch, I didn’t see it on the dinner board)

Lamb Burger at Lemon – What to order in Lemon is always a challenge for me.  A good dilemma.  Unlike the choice you have to make before leaving the house on a rainy day between the pink polka dot umbrella, and the one with the yellow circles.  Which one makes you look more manly (Mrs Ziggy if you reading, it would be nice to have a plain black umbrella around the house.  I have a second job now writing for a major magazine and I dont have time for matters like this.  Love, Ziggy).  But I digress.  An excellent lamb burger!  Lamb, hummus, cucumber mint yoghurt, brie, play together like a beautiful symphony with every morsel.  Add the delicious roasted potatoes and you got a great dish.

Strong contender:  Mushroom Risotto with Pork

Curry Grouper at Flamingos.  A customary 10 minute moment of silence normally follows after the dish arrives, reminding us why we come to Turks and Caicos year after year.  An Island legend at an Island institution.  You will be hard pressed finding a piece of fish with texture more perfect.  Sweet, savory, melt in your mouth goodness.  Like eating delicious butter. This was love at first bite, and a regular dish since.

Strong contender:  No idea!  But was told the similar coconut grouper is as good if not better

So there you have it.  7 memorable big bites from our last trip.  Enjoy your trip and stay hungry my friends