Vasectomy Tips for Foodies

3_GreenGiant72I believe we already established that this is not your ordinary food/travel blog.  If you can find another food blogger that posts about vasectomies I will take you to a restaurant of your my choice and pick up the tab.  So while you are busy Googling your way to a free meal, here are some tips and general observations about this most misunderstood procedure.  But why for “Foodies”, Ziggy?  Well, who else is reading this blog.  Certainly not politicians, or health professionals.  Unless they are Foodies.

The procedure is misunderstood because its not really much of a procedure.  But instead of telling you all about it, I would rather direct you to the place that taught me everything I needed to know about Vasectomy.  So now that you are on your way to half-manhood…

Try scheduling the procedure before some major Sporting events like US Open Tennis/Golf, Football Sunday, or anything else you are interested in.  So you could at least enjoy the time off.  The recovery time is usually 48 hours, but take all the time you need.  Remember, this is your time to shine (so to speak, no pun intended. If shining gets really bad consult your dr)

Make sure you are booked for the morning.  Some doctors will tell you that the time of the booking will be determined closer to the date, but you need to be on top of this since you will not be able to eat for a while prior to the procedure.  So a 2:00 PM procedure for example is almost the equivalent of a Yom Kippur fast.

Office romance is an often overlooked benefit. Look at the overall picture, beyond your original reasons.  But before you start looking for any hotels that charge by the hour, and before you start hitting the bars again, you need to wait a few weeks in order to “clean the pipes”

Another big benefit is all the legit “My dog ate my homework” type excuses that come with it….

“Ziggy, can you finish the report by the end of the day” – “Sorry sir, but I have a Vasectomy scheduled for this afternoon”
“Sir, It will be 30 minutes”  “Can you make it faster, I have a Vasectomy coming up”
“Dude why are you home watching Ellen” – “I had a Vasectomy”
“Dad, can Jennifer sleep over” – “Sorry not today, dad is recovering from a Vasectomy”
“Can you throw out the garbage” – “Vasectomy!”

Get the picture?  You cant get better excuses than this.  Use it 3 times a day or as directed.

Use frozen peas instead of Ice pack for easier application to the infected area.  And yes, most likely you wont look at frozen peas the same way again.

You dont have to lift anything heavy for the rest of your life marriage

Remember Mr Foodie, this is the equivalent of you giving birth.  Make the recovery a little worse than it is.  Use phrases like “YOU DID THIS TO ME!!” to get your message across, and you are all set for at least a few months

Coming up next year – Vasectomy Reversal Tips for Foodies

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